Thursday, February 17, 2011

My dear mom

Mom found me on the floor crying with a cutter in my hand.

It was strange because I've never had her catch me during my breakdowns. I guess I was screaming louder than usual. So I stood up and went straight to the bathroom as quickly as I could. Locked the door, washed my wrist, took a shower and continued to cry.

Mom wasn't in the room after I finished so I tucked myself in bed and tried to sleep. Sleeping makes it go away. She came in the room eventually. We talked about what was wrong. It felt nice but then she started to cry.

Only thing I'm afraid of you know. She always tells me that I can tell her anything but I'm always afraid I'll hurt her. I do love her very much. She's as fragile as me.

Why I was breaking down, I'd rather forget and not say.

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